Sept. 3nd, 1941 [3nd = sic] My dearest Bie I am happy to tell you, that I am released and I am going to Cumberland. My new address: L.B. c/o Crofton Hall Thursby near Carlisle As soon as possible you will get a long letter with all the new details. Mean- while many many xxxxx always yours Lutz
My beloved best Bielein,
I am released. But a release-letter should look somewhat different, but it is nevertheless that everything makes me sick [figuratively]. Yesterday, instead of holding my Bie in the arms, I arrived here exhausted; everyone told me the misery would be brief, I have imagined that it would be somewhat different. I am near to howling from powerless rage, but that changes nothing of the fact, depite every little thing that I try to undertake. Yes, Bielein, we still have it damned hard. And so to business:
Crofton lies about 10 miles from Carlisle. The bus, which runs roughly all hours, costs 1/4 [1 shilling 4 pence] there and back. By bus it’s still 1/4-hour journey. The hostel houses refugees, Italians, and Englishmen; about 60 people. I earn 50/- [50 shillings which is 2 1/2 pounds] a week, from which the hostel gets 20/- [20 shillings]. If I can find an apartment I can get out and the Bie can come. And that, then, is the main difficulty. There is next to nothing to get near here. I want to attempt what is in any way possible, but the hope is enough. I wanted, naturally, most of all with you to discuss it with you, but if I get leave, the journey costs 6/1 [6 shillings 1 pence] there and back and naturally, I don’t have the money. My luggage is also not yet here, and therefore I cannot even begin to work. Again, lost money. The area is not “Protected” and you naturally get permission immediately for the train. In any case I am striving, that we will celebrate the holidays together. In Carlisle, which one could compare to Torquay, there is no synagogue and no [Jewish] community. I have already inquired about this aspect. Maybe you can think of something to do, I really don’t know any more at the moment. I have a couple of thoughts, but I must first consider them carefully, because a stupid mistake is easy to make. And one must yet be careful. This whole damn war and that swine Hitler. I am all as exhausted as ever, and as I wrote to you on my second day of release, so you will come to believe, that you are the only support, without which they could do with me what they want. And so one must simply stimulate and exert one’s energy to somehow bring everything in order. Don’t be angry with me, Bielein, that I write all this to you, how it is, but I cannot rejoice as long as I do not have you with me. The only thought throughout 14 months, and now they give me the freedom, but without the Bie – that is no freedom. But it is useless at the moment, perhaps it will yet have a change.
Bieber took my shoes with him, since otherwise another pair would have been lost. In the next letters please continue to write, one to Bieber, the other once you have requested Bieber’s new address. Or just send Bieber’s address, please.
I still have an awful lot to tell you, my Hobbylein, but I can do no more today. Hopefully I will soon have mail from you and hopefully I can soon tell you something good. In any case, I would encourage you to make yourself somewhat ready to travel; it couldn’t hurt. One travels about 8 hours from London, it is quite nice. I just wish it were already done.
Many loving greetings and once more tender loving kisses,
Today I was again at it the entire day but unfortunately I had no success. Rooms are hard to come by here, and even if I strain my brain nothing much comes of it. I was thinking, whether you shouldn’t come first to Carlisle and if we can initially only be together Saturday evening and Sunday, that would still be better than nothing at all. But even there are rooms hard to come by, and one must have the money even to be able to stay in a hotel. It’s awful, Bielein.
I have written to people via an acquaintence who, with his wife, has found a good place somewhere in Shropshire, whether he knows of a farmer who might also have an idea of where you could __ find accomodation. The people there seem to be very nice and I will see what answer I get. In any case, something must be done, to bring me to my Bie. It would also be possible that one of our married people goes away, and then one could possibly get his accomodation. On a different matter, my beloved, and that must be very cautiously tackled. I have registered by the Labour Exchange [in] Wigton for the International Labour Branch. Take again the copy of reference letter [testimony?] in English from [Photo] Schaja [his employer in Munich before the war] and go to the Intern[ational] Lab[our] Branch in London and explain to them our suffering. Perhaps they can find another position that corresponds to my skills and that would help us. But you should be very careful, perhaps you should talk with the League beforehand, or hear something else about it. And above all, it must be done by you, because getting out of here is very hard. Perhaps you can create any connections, perhaps I’ll write again to Mrs. Griffith, but I first want to hear your outlook on that. That, in a nutshell, is all. I must be very thrifty and therefore am writing this letter in installments.
My beloved Hobbylein,
I was not ___ in the meantime and if something now appears out-of-date, it testifies to you in any case, how I am bestirring myself and worrying ceaselessly so that my Bie can come. Today is Sunday and one does not know where to begin. Oh, if only the Bie were here! One could let oneself spoil her, on a Sunday afternoon – but it’s simply not so. One also doesn’t get enough sleep.
My luggage is still not here and so yesterday I did housework. But it smells damnably like Cardynham [= their first job in England]. But what can one do, when one has no money? Now I have alerted the milkman and the mailwomen and I have even gotten an address which I will go to tonight. Perhaps we will have luck and it will finally work out. I was almost as happy as if I had found our small sweet apartment. Ah, it would be nice, to be able to receive the Bie here and finally hold her in my arms and to say “Bielein, finally you are again with me!” I would gladly make any sacrifice, if it were only possible. But I can only write about it in the second installment.
Now the Bie doesn’t have to complain about the short letters any more, and I have quickly abandoned the 24 lines. I want to tell you some mrore about the hostel. It is a former castle or something like that with enormous rooms. It is for our needs somewhat adapted, we have bath, shower, and hot and cold water, but far too little ___ and that is itself a problem. The food is not bad, but I have eaten better. Basically I have become used to such accomodations over many months, but I’d prefer a room with Bie. As always, it comes to the same thing. Get out of here and live anywhere with Bie. Someplace modest, that is what we are reduced to, but Bie must be there. And despite all my despair, we have made it through so much in our lives, so I’m not likely to give up, and I will work with all the energy until it is accomplished.
I do not yet have my clothing coupons, which takes about 14 days; I have 8 [days] remaining. Can the Bie soon get me 1 pair thick woolen socks, size 10? I have two pairs of work boots that are plenty big, but they fit me, but I could not get enough socks in the camp. And since I always put on two pair is the consumption large. Foot-cloths I make for myself out of old underwear and that’s how it goes. The work-clothing is pretty much in order, except for rubber boots and work gloves. But for those I must first earn money. If you could somehow scrape up strong canvas and make two mittens from it, that would be very nice. Thistles sting if one touches them and sometimes that’s necessary. On beauty one cannot put any value.
Because of the suitcase I will wait until I have clarified the housing question, a moment I come through as in the camp [?]. Thus must I bring this to a close, and I hope to be able to tell you more tonight. Kisses, Hobbylein!
[blank line in original]
So, Hobbylein, I was there. It is a small house, Bus Station, and we can perhaps get one room and use of the kitchen. But that can be settled on Friday at the earliest because first others must move out. Hopefully it will work out, or I will find something else in the meantime. O, if only it would come!
Well, enough for now. Many many tender greetings and yet many more sweet sweet kisses,
My beloved beloved Hobbylein,
Heartfelt thanks for both your letters, which finally put me in a somewhat better mood. Today for the first time I was outside, potato-gathering[?]. Three hours travel time with the lorry is no pleasure. Work-time, departing at 7 [am] and returning again at 7 [pm], therefore 12 hours on the road. Therefore there does not remain very much time for one has so much to do. And that’s why this letter is also very short.
Darling, regarding the prospect of an apartment there is initially nothing, but I’m not very troubled by that, because we have lived in better places. In Carlisle there is nothing, because I have no bus that early. On the other hand, perhaps in Wigton. But everything will be all right.
Here there is also a young married couple – I know him from Onchan – that have to vacate their current apartment. It is possible that together we could take a house, if we get something.
Only now do I have a little time and must prescribe [put off?] everything to Sunday evening. But I hope yet, that the Bie can come next week. By the way, it is called Thursby [b is underlined twice] and it lies about 15 minutes by bus from Carlisle and it is insignficant.
Yes, I need the Bie damnably much, so-and-so, and moreover I am becoming terribly backwards. [?] How it will be with you, once you finally are here, we will see. You’ll have work in any case. Phone calls cost a lot of money, my darling, and besides that we will have to converse in English. And you will need the pair of pounds [sterling] for yourself. I’m coming through soon. On Saturday I get my first money, of which 10/- [10 shillings] remain and then things will get better. I know it’s a lot, but the Bie must wait until Sunday, when I have more time.
All, all love and many heartfelt little kisses and until I see you again very soon,
And that's the last of the letters that we currently have. Are there more still to be found? We know that it was not long after this that my grandmother did, in fact, join him in Cumberland, and so I wouldn't expect more than one or two letters, if that. Perhaps he found a place and rang her up to tell her to come; we just don’t know at this point. We do know that four months later they were back in London.
And so the research continues....