My beloved Bielein,
Unfortunately, today I must write to you, that you with your input have had no success. I have just been declared “fit” – which also was not expected to change. Take it easy! You know that I was not enthusiastic right from the beginning, and had more experience than all the windbags who wanted to convince you of something, partly because they were already crazy, partly becuase they were becoming dotty. It is just me, that one loses one’s balance a bit, even if one has predicted the whole thing sensibly, it’s nothing. It would have been nice to be together for Christmas. And if a miracle doesn’t occur, then one sits here for the duration. Well, we will wait as before, otherwise we have nothing left. Perhaps the new White Paper will bring something. So keep on being brave and hang on, just as I must do. Hopefully you will stay healthy for me, and nothing will happen, because that would be the worst thing that could occur. Don’t let my head hang, my love, who knows what it’s good for? Hopefully I will soon have good tidings from you.
With most tender kisses and loving greetings, your
My most beloved Bie,
Finally today, the first mail this week – from the 20th and 22d. I am happy that you are well. You are certainly not not telling me much news, but at least you have great optimism. Have you read the new rules about release? What now? I no longer believe in the U.S.A. [as an option], on the other hand, I don’t believe that I am fit [enough] for the A.M.P.C. Thus, always the same problem.
As of Saturday I am now cooking for two houses (26 people) and thereby the financial situation improves itself somewhat. Hopefully, then, I can send you something soon. Yes, my love, one is always thinking, again Bie is struggling through. It is a shame, that I still sit here, cooking something good for other people, and the Bie is stuck grappling with every possible problem. Now it is already 5 months. To the Deans I have recently written.
Dr. Groser is in Ilfracombe [a town in Devon]
By the way, I need to have here also the original of the U.S.A. summons. If they yet come. Besides this, is it worth a telegram?
Can you send me easy pastry recipes for Christmas? Dumplings for soup? And if you think of something else. I’m experimenting with it here and mostly having luck with it.
And now I’m going to the cinema. For today, loving greetings and many little kisses. Always yours,
[AMG notes: The AMPC was the Auxilliary Military Pioneer Corps]
1 Dec 1940
My dearest Bie,
Today at midday [your] mail from the 23rd-25th arrived. Thank you very much, my dear.
I am pleased that you are so healthy and I wish nothing more than that it may remain so. I saw cheap fur coats advertised in the newspaper and immediately they made me think of something. You really must have something warm for the winter and if you’re of the opinion that the offer is really cheap, then I think you should buy a coat. About the money do not worry, I’ll send you something in about 10 days. It is, after all, better to be dressed warmly than to be sick, you freeze ___? and therefore, you do the same on the legs. Send me please direct from [the] shop a small appointment calendar (diary) and an outstanding mechanical pencil with clips to hold it, and refill-leads. (Boots!) Tissue paper I do not need.
It is said here that unstamped mail will not be permitted. (Surcharge stamps!) Please inquire again. Until now I have not had to pay, but I would like to avoid it if that is the case.
That you only on Saturdays are “easily satisfied” is quite right; should you also always sit at home alone? Besides, the great enjoyment of “self-amusement” I never understood, but I suppose it’s certainly true, and I can understand it. Yes it is boring to the farmer. But what remains for us other than to wait? Funny how the mood always goes up and down. So, now I go to a soccer game, and then comes the wait until the next post. With loving greetings and many heartfelt kisses, Your Lutz
My dearest Hobbylein,
I must write to you again that I do not see any success in our US business. I do not know why the Oversea Department do not accept the thing, I do not know why you took a lawyer, just so we do not get our mail answered.
I once dreamt of justice and after all that we have experienced in the course of the past two years, we would have just as well died in Germany. We have looked on helplessly as to how time is stolen, from greetings (?) that we do not know.
Meanwhile, the submitted papers are invalid again. All this is more than you can ask for. I want to try to start a telegram, so we need not reproach ourselves.
That you, my dearest, are very nervous, I can imagine. But what good is all this? We will be pushed around, with only what is watched (?), what one wants. Who will help us? Also about this internment we have our own views. I just want to know what is the point of this shitty life.
Now I have given you some inspiration and maybe something will come out of it. I assume you have already set up a connection with Breuer.
Anyway, I must get out of here. A “Health Application” has no use, besides which it would still be months before it would.
Regardless, I’m glad that I lack nothing. From the cold I hardly suffer. Only my teeth make me worry, but here one can’t do anything about that.
Just keep staying healthy, my dearest, and be tenderly kissed by your Lutz.
My dearest little “Hobby”,
First, heartfelt thanks for all your letters: 30th / 2nd / 3rd / 4th. I’m just really worried, but I wish for you only that in your new room you feel quite well. Even if it costs a little more, that can’t be changed; don’t have headaches about it, I’m still here and will send something in about 8 days. It plagues me, but I can at least do a little something for the Bie and that’s the main thing.
Now for the letters. I am surprised that you do not answer my questions. What have you done? Do you have an attorney? What is the Oversea Department doing? Have you reported the change of address to the consulate? I have asked a lot of things in my last letters and it is a pity that I must use these scant lines in repetitions. Your application I regard as totally wrong and hopeless. Why waste energy on this? The Qeensgarten [sic] is also misinformed. If we fill out questionnaires a thousand times, it still has no purpose. First some light [?] and then the application.
That you want to keep busy is very good, it passes the time. In other respects nothing in my attitude to the United States will change. I will not write to Hugo. He did not bring us out of Germany and he will not bring out out of here. I shit on the whole USA thing, that cost me weeks of sleepless nights. The same swindle as in St. [AMG: I do not know what St. is an abbreviation for here.] Therefore you need not make any accusations. (?)
Please send me official seals, then I can seal up the letters. For we do not like a page at the mouth [to lick the envelope?].
That’s all for today. Just stay healthy and tender kisses,
Yesterday I received your letter of the 5th. Heartfelt thanks.
It does not make me very clever. You have hope for release and I am sorry that you expect it too much. It is very difficult to achieve and there remains only this way: first a job, then the release. You did not read the newspapers completely correctly. It said there about the tribunals, that they will judge us – and yes, you know from my previous letters what I think of that.
A job together with you, I decline, you can think why. I also have no desire to go into housekeeping. The Qeensgarten [sic] should once more try to get a job and then perhaps something will come of it. In this regard, you should talk again with the lady mentioned by Mrs. Griffith. From your note you seem to have somehow rejected this. Why I do not know and therefore I cannot judge whether it was right. Or you wrote something illegible. This unfortunate stationery is easy to misread.
In the meantime I have signed up as a cook in Lingfield [a racecourse that was a transit camp for internees]. Whether I will really go is still uncertain. I did it mainly so that you can visit me often and maybe I can establish for myself a connection there. One just tries everything.
So my dearest, do not be too optimistic that much will come out of it, i.e. I will not be out of the interment.
How do you like the new dwelling? Already settled? You’ve now had somewhat quieter times and I wish that you have some recovery from that.
With heartfelt kisses and loving wishes, Always your Lutz
My dear silly little Bie,
What is with the two desperate letters from the 8th and 10th? Why are you so strange to me? Now, I want to reassure you. I stay just where I am and we’ll see one day what was right. If Hobbylein is so served [?], I wanted it for your sake, too, my dear. About the Lingfield matter I still have no answer. I just hope that you have now realized that your utopian hopes were wrong. One is interned faster than freed. Of course, the world behind barbed wire looks slightly different; moreover, it drags on and one is disappointed all the time.
And with that I come to the first letter. We have written to one another very thoroughly already. I can tell you quietly that I never thought for a second what you thoroughly suspected and believed. By this I am completely convinced by Bie. The quotation marks only meant a repeat of your letters. Furthermore, the size of the letters disturbed me and if you buy new paper, then please change it. With regard to the letter from the Home Office I cannot begin at all.
If you come to Gogo [=Sofie Guckenheimer] give her and her mother my greetings, and I thank them that they take take care of you.
I know that you, poor one, have no easy life and that gives me such a headache. However, you should not restrict yourself too much because it comes at the cost of your health.
Yesterday I baked 20 Butter-Barches and I got some money from it, which I will send in the next few days. I hope it helps you a bit.
So, only an end to the many worries, Bielein, head high and much much loving little kisses; yours forever, Lutz
I will write to the Deans [=other friends in Torquay] myself.
17 Dec. 1940
My beloved Bielein,
For five days I am without mail and I only hope that you are well. Yesterday I sent £1; I also received the pencil and calendar. Fine! Thank you nicely, my love.
Today Erich Freund, Free German League of Culture, Upper Park Rd 36a was released. Please arrange an appointment with him, and then you can discuss all the possibilities with him. [Footnote: Perhaps also seek help in the USA!] Bring references with you. We were for 5 months together and you will remember him when you see him again. He used to perform with the revue. He leads a division of the Culture Society and I am certain that you will have a good support, because, above all, no Austrians! I have already spoken with him, but it is the way that such people, before your departure, are overwhelmed with orders and then cause a mixup, or forget. Therefore, my way is somewhat more reliable, more so if you nudge him.
Today I will also send a number of X-mas cards to Torquay. Perhaps it will bring something. The Deans are traveling. One cannot thank these people enough. I have already headaches against the ceiling. [AMG: Is that an idiom for “I have been wracking my brain?”]
If I should really come to London as a cook, I’ll send you a package with unnecessary (?) things. In any case, if you get the package or a message, immediately make a request to the House Office, that you can visit me. Perhaps it is possible to get a ___-Permit, if you stress that I am there as a cook. Otherwise, I know nothing to report.
Of Chanukah we will take little notice, but I beg of you, that you really treat yourself to something and I wish also, that I soon can send you something.
Many loving greetings and tender kisses always,
My most beloved Bielein,
Your letters of the 11th and 12th were very sweet and a surprise for me. But not really! I already suspected something and I can not understand why you left me in the dark for so long only.
I know, Hobbylein, you have a difficult life and our situation is damned hard. But I would have written to Hugo, after all, something that he could not frame. But one must be thankful that he has dealt with our mail so conscientiously. Perhaps you are now also slowly [coming to share] my opinion, how much one can rely on him.
In any case, things look different now and I am curious whether now everything is in order. I beg of you rather, write me the truth about it, and immediately, as soon as you know something.
I have, Bie, written that all I can do for release is nothing, much as I would like. You should just work, and I believe, Bielein, you know what you can afford and you certainly have a ready tongue. I cannot advise you because meanwhile everything has certainly changed, and it will take me some time before I’ve come to terms with the new relationship – if I should finally be free.
Why do you want to make a sick man out of me? I am fit, on that you can rely, and I am glad for it. Or do you dream of an illness-release from the consulate? Thus everything has its two sides.
But we will yet make it, Bielein; one has already choked down so much, and I believe that next year will be so much better. You are certainly a brave little trouper and you will somehow get me out of this. That is a hope for us both and one day we will once again be together.
So don’t let the head hang, if I am not with you at Chanukah; we will think about one another so much more.
Many loving little kisses for today; forever yours, Lutz
[pre-printed Xmas card]
From the internees of Onchan Camp
L. ___ Camp Supervisor
POST OFFICE TELEGRAM CT 24 W 2 + 501 7.10 DOUGLAS 23 TELEGRAPH LETTER BISSINGER 24 NORFOLK SQUARE LONDON W 2 = BOOK FREIGHTER OR LINER WHATEVER YOU THINK BEST IF PAPERS ARE ALLRIGHT STOP LOVE = LOUIS + [stamped PADDINGTON/SPRING ST. P.O./3 JAN 41 W.2.]
My beloved Bie,
While I eat the rest of the excellent pastries from you, I acknowlege your letter of the first. Why don’t you really look into getting another room in another neighborhood, if you don’t feel comfortable? I must think about it so often, whether you also freeze so much like me [?], you poor one. It has now become somewhat chilly, even if I personally notice in my kitchen.
From here on, I can undertake absolutely nothing to get a job. Everything must be done from
here the outside. I am very curious, how the case goes with the ship tickets. And how long will the Consulate then need, and what will they find fault with next.
The Lingfield situation has fallen through, because there are currently no more transfers being issued. But everything can change daily, and I personally believe it, that one day our efforts will become useful.
Anyway, it occurs to me, I can drive a car, after all. They need farmers. Perhaps there is somehow a possibility of becoming a tractor driver. I have already practiced so many professions, what’s one more? The main thing is, how can we eventually reunite? Because I have no desire to leave you to wander alone for half a year.
Anyway, how is your new job? I am extremely interested to hear about it, and at great length. At worst, write to me by hand in the shelter.
Just continue to be brave and healthy, Hobbylein. Tender greetings and heartfelt kisses,